Gravestones...
One time, I was walking with my mother in the cemetery which was located on Battleground Avenue in Greensboro, North Carolina... and there were a lot of antiquitist gravestones, dating back to the 17 to 1800s... not only that, they were old, too. Here are some of the ones I can remember... IN MEMORY OF BEZA WOOD DEPARTED THIS LIFE NOVEMBER 2, 1837 AGED 45 YEARS. HERE LIES ONE MR. WOOD ENCLOSED IN WOOD ONE WOOD WITHIN ANOTHER THE OUTER WOOD WAS VERY GOOD WE CANNOT PRAISE THE OTHER. This one was for a dentist... STRANGER TREAD THIS GROUND WITH GRAVITY. DENTIST BROWN IS FILLING HIS LAST CAVITY. Here was an epitaph for an atheist... HERE LIES AN ATHEIST BY THE NAME OF JOE ALL DRESSED UP AND NO PLACE TO GO. _______________________________________ This one was for a man who got tired of his wife's nagging... SACRED TO THE MEMORY OF ANTHONY DRAKE WHO DIED FOR PEACE AND QUITENESS' SAKE HIS WAS WAS CONSTANTLY SCOLDING AND SCOFFIN' SO HE SOUGHT REPOSE IN A $12.00 COFFIN. ________________________________________ MOLLY, THOUGH PLEASANT IN HER DAY WAS SUDDENLY CEASED AND SENT AWAY. HOW SOON SHE'S RIPE HOW SOON SHE'S ROTTEN LAID IN A GRAVE AND SOON FORGOTTEN. ________________________________________ This one marked the testimony of an unhappy couple... WITHIN THIS GRAVE DO LIE BACK TO BACK MY WIFE AND I WHEN THE LAST TRUMP SOUNDS AND THE AIR SHALL FILL IF SHE GETS UP I'LL JUST LIE STILL. ________________________________________ HERE LIES THE BODY OF JAN SMITH WIFE OF THOMAS SMITH, MARBLE CUTTER THIS MONUMENT WAS ERECTED BY HER HUSBAND AS A TRIBUTE TO HER MEMORY AND A SPECIMEN OF HIS WORK. MONUMENTS OF THE SAME STYLE ARE $350.00. ________________________________________ GOD TAKES THE GOOD PEOPLE TOO GOOD ON EARTH TO STAY. GOD LEAVES THE BAD TOO BAD TO TAKE AWAY. ________________________________________ POOR MARTHA SHIELDS HAS GONE AWAY. SHE WOULD IF SHE COULD, BUT SHE COULDN'T STAY. SHE HAD TWO BAD LEGS, AND A BADDISH COUGH. AND IT WAS HER TWO BAD LEGS THAT CARRIED HER OFF. _________________________________________ This one was for a cheating husband... GONE, BUT NOT FORGIVEN. __________________________________________ ON THE 25th OF JUNE, JONATHON FIDDLE WENT OUT OF TUNE. ___________________________________________ HERE LIES THE BODY OF MARY ANN BENT, SHE KICKED UP HER HEELS, AND AWAY SHE WENT. DINAH HAD A LITTLE CAN 'TWAS FILLED WITH KEROSENE AND SOON AMONG THE TWINKLING STARS DYNAMITE BENZINE.* *(Dinah Might Been Seen) _________________________________________ HERE LIES THE BODY OF OBADIAH WILKINSON AND RUTH, HIS WIFE. THEIR WARFARE ACCOMPLISHED. _________________________________________ HERE LIES A MAN THAT DID NO GOOD AND IF HE LIVED, HE NEVER WOOD. WHERE HE GOES OR HOW HE FARES, NOBODY KNOWS, AND NOBODY CARES. _________________________________________ SACRED TO THE MEMORY OF JARED BATES WHO DIED AUGUST THE 6TH, 1800: HIS WIDOW, AGED 24 WHO LIVES AT 7 ELM STREET, HAS MANY QUALIFICATIONS OF A GOOD WIFE, AND YEARNS TO BE COMFORTED. _________________________________________ TO THE MEMORY OF ABRAHAM BEAULIEU BORN 15TH OF SEPTEMBER 1822 ACCIDENTALLY SHOT 4TH OF APRIL 1844 AS A MARK OF AFFECTION FROM HIS BROTHER. _________________________________________ Presumably the epitaph of a child... WEEP NOT FOR ME MOTHER & BROTHERS DEAR IT IS GOD'S WISH THAT I AM HERE AT MY SWEET AGE I SWALLOWED A BONE THAT SENT ME TO A HAPPY HOME. __________________________________________ The epitaph of a prominent doctor... DR. FRED ROBERTS 1875-1931 OFFICE UPSTAIRS. ___________________________________________ HARRY EDSEL SMITH LOOKED UP THE ELEVATOR SHAFT TO SEE IF THE CAR WAS ON THE WAY DOWN. IT WAS. ____________________________________________ WHEN YOUR RAZOR IS DULL BUT YOU NEED A SHAVE, THINK OF THE MAN WHO LIES IN THIS GRAVE. _____________________________________________ HERE I LAY, ROTTING AWAY. I NEVER DID LEARN HOW TO WATCH WHAT I SAY! SO WHEN I TOLD HER SHE WAS GETTING FAT, SHE CAVED IN MY HEAD WITH A BASEBALL BAT! Category:Death Category:Places Category:Reality